So Wednesday morning I took my eleven year old to the dentist for a six month check-up.
While waiting for the dental technician to finish the cleaning and X-rays, I picked up a copy of People Magazine that was lying in the waiting room. It happened to be their 2014 best and worst issue. I don't subscribe to People, but since I'd already read the six month old copy of Sports Illustrated and had no interest in the Southern Living magazine, People appeared to be my best bet.
What I quickly discovered is that at 56 I have become culturally obsolete and irrelevant.
Look at their list of Top 10 movies, I was aware of all ten flicks and even knew the rough plotlines for all of them. Number I had actually seen ... zero
Top 10 television shows. Most are on premium cable which I don't subscribe to. I had heard of seven of the ten shows, though a couple were complete unknowns to me - How to Get Away with Murder, Happy Valley ... never heard of them. Seven out of ten would seem to be a passing grade except for the fact I had not seen one of these shows.
Top 10 songs. Again, I take some comfort in having known all ten of these artists, to say nothing of the fact I'd actually heard seven of the top-ten songs I did check out Dierk Bentley's "Drunk on a Plane". The title was too good not to check it out. Sadly. I don't own a single one of the top-10 songs.
Top 10 books - Was aware of six of the books; had read reviewed for most of them, and might actually read three of them at some point. Number I had read to that point - zero.
Top 10 viral hits. I had seen two of these clips the selfie taken at the Oscars selfie and the clip of President Obama being interviewed by Zach Galifankis
Top 10 breakups and weddings. I recognized a couple of the names - I think Jennifer Lopez was on their continuing her long standing streak of marital disarray. Thing is I really didn't care about either of those categories. The break-ups aren't something to be proud of and I suspect most of the folks on the wedding list will be on a future break-up list.
Anyhow, at that point my kid was done with his check-up (no cavities) and I had reached the end of my 2014 best and worst span of attention. Culturally irrelevant and 56. Bummer.
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