MY TOP 10 WORST SONGS

Where do you start with horrible music ?  There's so much of it out there ... 
seemingly more each and every day.  And how do you define horrible?   Some
genres that I can't even listen to (death metal, noise rock, giant swaths of
rap) have rabid fan bases.  

Anyhow, I originally published a list of my selections for the ten worst songs
of all time about five years ago when BadCatRecords was still hosted on the old
Geocities website.   The list is heavily geared to my teenage listening years
(mid-70s through the early-'80s which means I've ignored decades of equally bad
material.   I may have to expand the list to a top-20 at some point.  

So the original list got quite a bit of traffic, including comments from a
couple of the artists represented on the list.   I actually found that kind of
funny - the thought a rock star would take offense at my comments and take the
time to let me know they thought I was a lowlife tool was actually pretty funny 
...  When Geocities shut down I essentially forgot about the list, though a
couple of months ago I mentioned it to some friends who expressed interest in
it.   Sadly Geocities is gone, but I found the old HTML code on a computer and
I've reposted the list   And as an added bonus, in case some of you haven't
encountered these wonderful selections, I've added links to YouTube clips of the
songs.   Enjoy !

These aren't in any particular order, but they all have a special place in my
heart.  Bad, bad, bad ... so bad there's actually something endearing to each of
them.

Gary Wright "Dreamweaver"
This one came out in 1976 and I clearly remember it getting all kinds of media
attention based on the fact the track didn't include a single guitar - it was
all synthesizers.   Cutting edge technology it was.   The only problem is the
song sucked and the synthesizers set a new standard for cheesy.   You actually
had to wonder if the keyboard guy had fallen asleep during the recording session
and accidently fallen asleep in the keyboard.   Okay, that sounded mean and
snitty.  I'll tell you that I saw Wright open up for Peter Frampton and in a
live setting he was actually pretty entertaining - wasn't as keen on the flight
suit-styled costume, but what do I know.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5WrD-fAzx4


Buckner and Garcia "Pac-Man Fever"
As was pointed out to me by one of the performers, I've never written a million
seller, so who cares what I think about this song.   It came out at the pinnacle
of the video game crazy and it was insidiously catchy and equally annoying.  
The funny thing is it was actually one of the highlights off of an album of
similarly oriented songs ('' and '').   Regardless, unless you like what sounds
like an Atari being strangled, I'm not sure why you would bother.  The clip
has the pair lip synching the tune on Dick Clark's American Bandstand.  Even
Clark seems befuddled by the tune.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kEGSFk-vCqU


Starland Vocal Band "Afternoon Delight"
So these guys were Washington DC natives and this song made them billionaires -
I read somewhere the song still generates substantial royalties for the writers
(though they make upwards of $200,000 a year off of 'country Roads'.   So
'Afternoon Delight' was cute and commercial and 100% nauseating.  The thought of
two folks sneaking off from work to engage in a little hanky-panky wasn't bad,
but the smug, nod-nod, delivery was thoroughly irritating.  The video for the tune
was hysterical - those little looks (think they're long since divorced).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fz1ex78QeQI


Rupert Holmes "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)"
Seriously, what is there to say about this song.   Everything about it was
annoying.   I can't even look at a frozen drink without thinking about this
musical nightmare.   And again, I'm sure Homes is enjoying more royalties on
a monthly basis than I'll ever earn across my entire career.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrDEJfdEaUE
Chris DeBurgh "Lady In Red"
I remember being dumbfounded that this song got airplay.   DeBurgh had one of
those voices that just struck a chord with me - the guy sounded like he had his
manly parts stuck in a vice grip while he was being slowly strangled.   It was
truly painful to sit through this hideous ballad; made worse by the fact my
local radio station played it and play it and played it.  And for those of you who
think I'm being a complete a**wipe, I'll even admit that the live version of this
tune is at least listenable (still don't like it).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFcuN2zI3u0


Donna Summer "Love To Love You Baby"
I liked the late Donna Summer.  She had a beguiling voice and I was always
impressed by her demeanor.  That said, her commercial breakthrough was
horrendous.   I remember it being scandalous when released.   All of the bumping
and grinding was an affront to morals and society.   The fact of the matter is
those orgasmic sound effects were about as sexy as listening to that fat guy
farting in the third toilet stall.  There was nothing even remotely sexy about
the performance.  Summer sounded like she was hurt and needed medical attention
- and not the kind of attention Dr. Love could provide.    The only thing worse
than the single was the seemingly endless extended play version.   As reflected
on a television performance, the live moans were positively painful to hear.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TsIzw94NiJs


Kiss "Beth"
Kiss are great when they are being Kiss.   Kiss are not great when they are
trying to be a top-40 commercial band.   Kiss are even less great when singing
sappy ballads like this aberration.   The best way to describe the song was that
it sounded like Gene Simmonds was choking on his tongue.  "Beth, gasp, gasp
...."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHkojuUSDO8


Debby Boone "You Light Up My Life" ()
To be fair, including this one is a little bit like the class bully picking on
the nearsighted science nerd.    This song is so bad in so many ways.   The fact
that it sold a billion copies just goes to show you how deep some of this
country's problems are.   Is there such a thing as a flatulent pop song ?  
Well, if so, I'd nominate this piece of insipid navel gazing crappola.    This
one is bad as in bad - not bad as in so bad that it is good.  I can actually
imagine this playing non-stop for all the souls in purgatory.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b07-yKnKRMQ


Paul Anka "You're having My Baby"
Another one where it's hard to know where to begin.   Musically the song was
horrendous with a melody that made chalk-on-a-blackboard sound good; a lyric
that was simultaneously sexist, cheesy, and embarrassing.   Hard to imagine any
woman wanting to hear this one ...  hard to imagine any potential father daring
to play this for his pregnant wife, or partner and yet it was  a monster hit for
Anka.   Even more puzzling, I recognize I'm not looker, but even in his prime
Anka was exactly a stunner.  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFHWl-ZyRAg


Morris Albert "Feelings"
What makes this one so special is Albert's voice - I've always though the guy
sounded like he was being strangled with piano wire.   Concepts such as being in
tune and following the melody were completely ignored.  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Q3CZNKgnNE


And as a bonus selection ...
Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder "Ebony and Ivory"
So I'll give the pair credit for trying to make a difference - the sentiments
were certainly nice ... tolerance, racial harmony, cooperation.  I'll vote for
all of them.   On the other hand, couldn't they have wrapped it up in something
with a little more energy and enthusiasm ?    'Ebony and Ivory' sounded like
something a whack job on an extended dose of tranquilizers might have cranked
out while tied to his dinner chair.    Literally sleep inducing ....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3WFLm6qO9o

TYPICAL BORING MORNING COMMUTE

Normally when I Get on the morning commuter bus, I'm pretty drowsy and don't pay
a great deal of attention to my fellow commuters.   For some reason I was more
awake this morning than normally.  Two curiosities caught my attention.

There was a guy sitting in front of me reading a newspaper.  That in itself
wasn't a big deal, however I was curious to see the newspaper had Chinese print
(well, it had Asian print).  Even more surprising were all the "page 3" girls
displayed throughout the paper.   For anyone who hasn't hear the term it refers
to English tabloid newspapers that feature a scantily clad, or nude woman on the
third page of the newspaper.   Anyhow, this guy didn't seem to have any problem
enjoying that feature of the paper.  In fact, I watched him fold the paper this way and that so he could focus on the articles.  Luckily for him the woman sitting next to him was zonked
out and didn't seem to notice.

The next thing to capture my attention was this oddly familiar clicking noise. 
I turned around and saw it was coming from a middle-aged woman who was seated
right behind me.  She was clipping her fingernails on the bus.  It was like she
was picking her nose, or wiping her butt, however it was just a bizarre thing to
see with her nails jumping all over the place.   I suspect the guy sitting next
to her wasn't all that happy with her morning hygiene routine.

Makes you wonder, what are these folks thinking.

AND I'M NOT EVEN POLITICALLY INCLINED ...

I'm not particularly political, but as a middle aged, middle, class, white guy, I've always kind of leaned to the Republican side of the equation.  I'm conservative in terms of finances and I'm probably more conservative in terms of lifestyle choices than I'd like to think.  I'm also a government employee who likes his job.   Over the years the government has paid me well.  They've provided me with a benefits and retirement program that most people would kill for.   I've been given education opportunities.  They've allowed me to travel.  They've given my opportunities to make a difference.  They've allowed me to work with some amazingly capable and dedicated people.  So, yes I'm prime Republican recruitment territory.   And in the past I've frequently voted Republican.   The thing is, I can't do it anymore.   The Republicans have fallen victim to their own personal agendas. They've allowed a small group of fanatics to basically take over their agenda and in doing so they've lost the rank and file that followed the party line.   Like spoiled three year old kids, they've thrown out the concepts of collaboration and cooperation that made the country great in favor of my-way-of-no-way.   I see them willing to sacrifice the very people they are suppose to be helping in order to further their own personnel agendas.  Do they care about you and me?   Hell no.

There's certainly plenty of blame to go around.  Obamacare seems like a nightmare
waiting to happen.   It is complex and will take years to work out the kinks.  I understand the Republican dislike for the program.  That said, it is the law.   They are required to uphold the law.   If they want to gut the program, they'll get their turn when they win control of the government.   For the time being, their attempts to gut the law by taking down the entire government are simply reprehensible.   Furloughing millions of federal employees; many who live paycheck-to-paycheck, is not the way to do it.   As I said, the Republicans will
get their shot someday, but given their current behavior and unless they figure out how to return to a more moderate and mainstream approach, it won't be with my vote.

RAINBOW RECORDS, NEWARK DELAWARE

Basic Information: 
Name: Rainbow Records
Location: 54 E. Main St., Newark, DE 19711
Website:  http://www.rainbow-online.com/

Location: Grade B:  I stumbled across this place a couple of years while walking around Newark, waiting for my wife to check out some local stores.   It's actually hidden down a side alley and easy to miss.  Street parking along the main drag (25 cents for 12 minutes, so bring quarters).

Staff: Grade B:  Three staff members were in the store, but were busy talking to each other and left me alone to poke around.  That's fine as far as I'm concerned.

Inventory: Grade C   So I'm guessing the store has about 3,000 LPs and a small inventory of CDs.  The albums are divided into "old stuff" and newer material (I have to admit I had not heard most of the newer stuff - Divine Destruction doesn't sound like something I'd enjoy.  Anyhow, about 60% of the small store is devoted to used books.

Pricing: Grade B-:  I'm kind of torn on this one.  Their focus is clearly on contemporary acts with many of those releases carry rather expensive  prices.   I'll readily admit many of those contemporary acts were unknown to me, but I did recognize a couple (High Llamas) and I've seen vinyl pressings for far less.  Someone must also have been reading a price guide for 60s and '70s LPs since some of those carried surprisingly high prices - Aesops Fables for $20; Beatles LPs priced at $10 and up, etc.   At the same time there were some bargains to be found in the bins, especially when it came to lesser known bands.   Good examples - spent $4 for a Brown Dust LP on the collectible Family label and $4 for a Ronnie Hawkins solo LP on ATCO.

Facility: Grade C:  The place is small - imagine a one bedroom apartment and you'll have the right size (and that includes both the music and book sections).   They've made the most out of their limited space, but it is cluttered and if there are more than a handful of people in the store at any one time, it gets to be a bit claustrophobic.   Most of the LPs are in conventional bins so it's easy to get to them.  The inventory organization was a bit of a mystery.   Anything 50s though early '90s appeared to be in one area without respect to genre.   LPs were roughly alphabetical, but you found country, pop, rock, soul, etc. all mixed together which made for some interesting discoveries.   They also has some "discounted" LPs under the bins and a small area with new inventory.   Somewhat cumbersome, but not a big deal.   My biggest complaint though had to do with the volume of the in-store stereo system.   They were playing some lame AOR album and while the music wasn't great, it was loud; not just loud, but mind-numbing loud.   I might have stayed longer, but I literally started to get a headache and didn't want to look like an old geezer (even though I am), by asking them to turn it down.  

Damages:  Again, I probably shouldn't document this, but I picked up about 20 LPs.   For the most part, I bought a mixture of '60s and '70s pop, rock with a couple of interesting soul titles thrown in the mix.  The single most expensive item was a new, six LP boxed set by The Stark Reality "Acting, Thinking, Feeling."  I know could have found it cheaper (saw it on Amazon for $20 less), but what the hell - support your local record store.   Total cost was $265